Celebrity Interview with the cast of Odyssey

 Author's note:- Obviously, this is fake. I just made this up for fun. Enjoy.

Pre-interview scene

Me: Hello! (entering through the door)

Executive: Hi?

Me: I’m here for the role.

Executive: What role?

Me: I heard you were looking for someone to interview Nathan Hale, Ethan Caldwell and Sebastian Crowe for their new movie Odessey.

Executive: We don’t need you. We’ve already prepared their schedules.

Me: I’ve seen that and I think it lacks lusture. I’m a prominent content creator and I can promise you results that will blow the audiences’ socks off. If it doesn’t happen, you don’t pay me.

Executive: Mmmmm. (Getting off the chair and looking at his watch) I have to go but you’re on the job. Arrange a time with my assistant.

Me: Alright! Thank you so much. (Closing the door)

Executive: Hey wait!

Me: Yeah?

Executive: Since we are acquiring you on a trial basis, you’ll have to arrange everything by yourself. We won’t be helping you…

Me: (Feeling cross but adamant) Okay.

Interview Day

Me (stuffing down the groceries from both arms on the counter): HAH! (sighing) I think this will be enough.

Assistant: Hi! Are you ready? They are here!

Me: (panicking) What? Already? No! Hey! Can you make all of these presentable? (roughly brushes the flour off the apron) I’ll greet them.

Assistant: (covering her hands around the groceries as much as possible and signalling a intern for help): Sure!

 

A short while later

Me: (putting my hands out to shake): (Cheerfully) Hey! Hi! Nice to meet you Nathan. (shakes Nathan Hale's hands) Hi Ethan! (Shakes Ethan Caldwell’s hands) Hi Sebastian (shakes Sebastian Crowe’s hands)

(Everybody politely and firmly shakes my hands.)

Me: How is everybody doing?(smiling)

Everybody: (together incoherently) Good! Good! Great!

Me: So c’mon along. We’ll be working in the kitchen today. (walking towards the counter)

(Everyone follows and stops behind the counter. Cameras adjust and mics are wired on)

Me: So! (clapping one time) In honour of the movie, we are making a Greek dish…actually 2 Greek dishes. Arakas Latheros and flatbreads to go with it.

(Nathan whistles)

Me: So let’s start! We have to chop capsicum really finally for the flatbread since we are making…

Nathan: flavoured ones!

Me: Yes exactly. (Chopping a cheek off the capsicum and putting it in the food processor) I bought this one from home and it is tiny so we’ll have to do it in batches. (presses and pulses the machine a few times and empties the finely-chopped yellow coloured capsicum in a bowl.) Nathan, do you want to try chopping the red one?

Nathan: Absolutely.

Me: Okay so guys what was it like to film this movie?

Ethan(talking over Nathan): It was amazing. Doing a movie with Sebastian Crowe is always a blessing. Plus there were so many people on the set. Anne, Nathan, Layla, Charlize, Sienna everyone…so lovely. Lovely people!

Nathan (shaking the jar to get the pieces in touch with the blades): Is this done?

Me (Tilting my head to the side): Yeah I think so. (empties the finely-chopped red capsicum into the bowl of yellow one)

Nathan: Ohh so we are mixing all of them?

Me: Yes.

Nathan: Got it.

(Put chop a part of green capsicum and add it to the food processor. Nathan moves to the side and lets Ethan do the job)

Me: So guys, was there any Greek food on the set like this one?

Nathan: Nope! (tittering)  But it would have nice to have this on set. (Looks over at Sebastian)

Sebastian Crowe (chuckling): This was not my department. You should have brought it up to Universal.

Nathan (chuckling): Yeah?

(Emptying the jar and tapping on the bowl to get the last bits out)

Me: Guys! I would have loved to stop by and make this dish for you. I have made this once at home to try and I think it tasted amazing.

Ethan and Nathan: We missed your expertise on set.

Ethan: Is it done?

Me: Unfortunately, not yet! We still have cabbage and parsley and garlic to chop. (pausing and furrowing my brows) Universal couldn’t gift us a proper food processor, guys. I had to get my tiny one from home.

(Everybody giggling)

Me: It is okay. I’ll do that part.

(Swiftly and roughly chopping all three, I throw it in the blender and pulse it a few times before pausing to ask a question.)

Me: So now I have a question for Sebastian. Seb? Can I call you Seb?

Sebastian Crowe: Sure...

Me: Why is it that you are adapting this film now…like so late in your career? Why not go with one of your stories?

Sebastian Crowe: Homer’s Odessey is one of my favourite pieces of literature. I read it while I was still in school and I was fascinated by it. Then, Universal gave me a chance to bring it to life and I just couldn’t say ‘no’ to them.

Me: Amazing! (Unpacking the bag of flour and using corrective hand movements) So, we are going to move on to the next step which is mixing all of these together in a bowl with this flour….which by the way is all the way from Greece.

(Everyone awes at the text “Made in Greece”)

Ethan: Cool!

Me (giggling): We should have done this in Greece. I don’t know why they made you come all the way here??!!

(Polite laughter from the cast and Ethan loudly agrees)

Ethan: Can I do it?

Me: Absolutely. Please be my guest. Here…(slicing the top of the pack with a cutter) Let me open it for you.

Ethan(smiling): Thank you…(shakes the bag and let out some flour in the bowl) Is that enough?

Me: uhhh actually, I haven’t measured it. We’ll just make the best of our judgement. Let’s stop here.

(Ethan stops shaking the bag and straightens it.)

Me: Nathan, you are strongest. Do you mind…(pointing to the bowl)??

Nathan: (hesitating) Sure. Let me just roll my sleeves up. (Takes off his coat jacket, loosens the sleeve and top shirt buttons and rolls his sleeves to his elbow)

Me: So all the veggies have a lot of water in them. (sprinkling salt over the kneading hands) and I’m adding some regular table salt to release some more. You must notice Nathan that it is getting easier to knead the more you do it…

Nathan: (huffing) Yes.

Me: So Nathan…I’ll be honest I asked you to do this because you look the most jacked. What was your workout routine like? A lot of shoulder presses I presume?

Nathan: (huffing) A lot of shoulder presses…uhhh.. yes. Actually I spent like 5 hours in the gym every day and I was cursing (looks at Sebastian Crowe with a sly eye) Seb a lot. (Seb laughs) My role, Odyessus is really theatrical in its performance so…yeah….I…..needed to look the part.

Me:  Amazing. (looking at the bowl) do you mind… I think we need a little more flour.

Nathan: What?? Still…

Ethan: (picking up the heavy still full pack) On it.

Me: Yeah…look it gushing…we need to add more flour. So guys can I ask more questions?

Everyone: Absolutely.

Me: Has anyone here been to Greece? Like the ancient ruins and everything?

(Everyone looks at each other. Seb shyly raises his hand. Ethan and Conner woah)

Me: (looking up) Nice. So just out of curiosity….what are the statues like?

Sebastian Crowe: Beautiful…beautiful amazing….Helen, Penelope…everyone..

Me: So the question on everyone’s lips is… (giggling)….why did you not cast any Greek actors?

Sebastian Crowe: (awkwardly laughing) Well, production and casting isn’t my department really. But it is always nice to have a cast you’ve worked with before and know their sides too since my methods can be orthodox sometimes. We do have newcomers on the set too. Layla, Charlize, Ethan..

Nathan: Can I stop kneading now? This is so much my arms are hurting.

Me: Yeah sure. I think it is perfect. Let’s set this aside…(stretching the cling film and covering the bowl) and move on to the main dish for now.

(Assistant steps in and informs everyone that time is running out and certain questions are not suitable for the cast. Everyone nods.)

Me: Got it. The next bit will be quick. Let’s move to this station guys. We’re gonna need the burners.

(Ventilation fan whirs and starts. Gas knobs turn and a clear blue flame ignites)

Me: Nathan, please add the oil.

Nathan: Sure. (pours a glug and continues pouring) Is this enough….

Me: yeahyeahyeah..good enough. Please stop.

Nathan: Oops..yeah sure…

Me: (smiling) You guys don’t cook at all…right?( adding onions and potatoes to the pan)

Nathan: I definitely don’t.

Ethan: Sometimes when I’m at home. I enjoy cooking. I am just not very good at it. My mum and dad like it…actually everyone in my family does…I just…

Nathan: don’t like cooking?(laughs)

Ethan: (chuckling and shying) Yes.

Sebastian Crowe: I cook with my wife on Sundays. We love a good Sunday roast.

Me: Well, it is okay. I can teach you. Well the potatoes and onions are cooked as they getting browned on the side. Chuck in the peas in for me…will ya?

(Ethan shakes the sizzling pan after the peas enter the pan)

Me: Now add the tomatoes and the seasonings. I’ll add hot water to it.

(Ethan does as instructed. I add the hot water from the kettle and place a lid on the pan.)

Me: ……and voila. With the magic of editing…(I turn off the burner and switch pans) we’ve got ARKAS LATHEROS! Yay! Please clap.

(Everyone claps)

Ethan: Can we try it?

Me: (Seriously) Absolutely! Well…we can’t try the bread coz that is going to take a while and we have to wrap up but we can try the dish on its own…

(Plates are set by the crew and I dish out some on 3 plates and add a spoon to all of them. Everyone proceeds to eat quietly.)

Me: (breaking the silence) How is it?

Nathan and Sebastian: Really good!

Nathan: I think I have a new favourite dish.

Me: Okay guys! Thank you for coming…this was really interesting. I hope you have an awesome rest of your trip here in India. Please come back. Ask for me again. (laughing)

Everyone: yeah..yeah..sure (smiling)

Me: (looking at the camera)This is a wrap on the cast of Odyssey. Thank you for watching.

Post interview scene

Executive: Do not call her back.

Assistant: Yes sir.